Respect my Reality

Most people know I only blog for two reasons.  The first is money, if I am commissioned to write, I write.  The second is if something is troubling me.

So, what would you do if you suspect someone who professes to care about you has told you a lie.  And by a lie, I don't mean a little white lie either.  How do I know it is a lie?  I don't.  In Second Life it is nigh on impossible to tell who is lying and who is truth telling.  If the story changes, that is the first indicator that would trigger alarm bells.  What if I confronted that person and told them to admit they had lied and told them to tell me the truth but they reacted by telling me it is none of my business.  Is that an admission of guilt?  An admission that they have lied, and not only that but I have no right to know the truth.

I guess that means if they don't step up and tell the truth, in order to fix it, it's over.  It's a miserable damned if you do, damned if you don't scenario.  Not to mention the disrespect shown by lying in the first place.

Can I move past it without this person stepping forward to fix it?  No.

No Limits?

Having been clearly trying to resolve my residual issues from my Virtual Integrity? (www.clubjosephina.com ---> Blog) post I decided to resurrect this blog. I am not going to discuss what the outcome of that post was but it has got me thinking about how easy it is to plod along in Second Life oblivious to what is really going on. Before you know it your game has changed and in my case, my too little came too late.

This raises the inevitable question, have I softened my anti dating policy and does this mean that as the only guy I could consider dating is off the market I should start dating? Clearly, I am not going to wait around like some sad little thing in the corner begging for crumbs so now it is up to me to decide if I want to hop back in the saddle and broaden my horizons.

I am learning my limits. Someone needs to tell me the rules because no one gave me the rulebook.

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Great Expectations

I bought land as an alt this week, on a philosophy themed sim.  A member started getting their knickers in a twist over non-issues and notecarding residents with unnecessary hysterics and discourse.  When I explained it was not something I wanted I was told by this person that I could not expect relaxation on a philosophy themed sim.  As it happened, the sim owner took control and banned this person but it got me thinking...  How much discourse is too much?  And how deep is too deep?

I am personally of the view that I should be able to be myself, for the most part I will discuss any topic and just because it may be a deep topic, it does not mean it is necessarily close to my heart.  

Maybe there are some friends you will never be able to talk about certain things with.  I have been told in real life that my need to test peoples limits, to shake the tree to see what falls off is not always without consequence and getting cross because something hits me on the head is pointless if it is of my own making. 

Testing people means that I will be perennially disappointed.

Virtual World Single Bashing in 2010

In real life I have always had to do a level of justifying when it comes to my single status but I have found that more and more I have to do it in Second Life.

It started the day before Valentines Day when I found out I wasn't going to be invited to a wedding the next day because I am not into dating.  The wedding had been arranged for a month.

Throughout the week, after revising my profile to clarify my views on dating, I realised that whatever I said in-world was going to be twisted to be about dating.  When I expressed concern about staff shagging regulars in my club it became about my single status.  I decided I was already sick of dating, and I wasn't even dating.

I would love someone to tell me what reward there is to be had in contorting my avatar on a poseball and muttering dirty-not-so-sweet-nothings in Instant Message.  As far as I can tell, people gave up asking me to participate in that kind of activity nearly 2-years ago.  I flushed my virtual birth control down the toilet on deciding that I clearly did not possess the time or the inclination to keep a man interested - in the virtual sense.

Am I anti virtual world dating?  No.  It is fair to say I have more than my share of cynicism but overall it is purely the fact that the men I have been exposed to in-world have lied, cheated, been gold diggers, or gave up due to the fact I had other in-world interests and they didn't.  I decided that I did not need to kiss a load of virtual frogs to find my Prince - In Second Life I will do as I please and not apologise for it.  Unfortunately, no one told me that Second Life is about 20-years behind real life when it comes to social norms.

In a world where you can be anything you want to be, people choose domesticity, virtually speaking.  Women have impossibly tiny waists, blonde hair, huge boobs and lost their IQ on login.  Maybe it became detached while teleporting.  All they want is a white picket fence, with their impossibly muscular (yet hideously tattooed) husband and fugly prim babies.  

It would seem to me that whether or not I date is not the issue here.  It is what I am willing or not willing to settle for.  I am just in-world trying to tip toe around the misogynistic emotionally stunted male avatars on my way to talk to the people who treat people like they are ... well, people. 

Whether I choose to date again is irrelevant, it certainly isn't something I have completely ruled out.  What I am resentful of is the women who are perpetuating the myth that they cannot live without a man - in any life.  So dull.